Inside the dimly lit dungeon of Melbourne’s Inflation nightclub, the scene unfolds like a tableau from a modern-day bacchanal. Guests at the Saints & Sinners Ball, a long-standing event in the city, engage in various forms of consensual play, embodying the spirit of what is broadly known as “The Lifestyle.” This term, encompassing swinging and other forms of ethical non-monogamy, is gaining traction across Australia, reflecting a significant cultural shift.
As I navigate the event, I witness a diverse array of activities, from a woman strapped to a spanking bench to a casual conversation between two men, each engaged in self-pleasure. The atmosphere is electric, filled with anticipation and curiosity. For many attendees, this is more than a party; it’s a space where they can explore their sexuality openly and without judgment.
The Evolution of The Lifestyle
The Saints & Sinners Ball is just one example of how ethical non-monogamy is evolving in Australia. This event, which has been running for over three decades, attracts around 800 participants each quarter. It serves as a meeting ground for those interested in exploring non-traditional relationships, offering a glimpse into a world that remains largely hidden from mainstream society.
Historically, swinging and similar practices have existed in a legal grey area. In the past, such gatherings were often clandestine, with participants connecting through adult magazines or liberal classifieds. However, the rise of digital platforms and changing societal norms have brought these practices into the open, allowing for greater acceptance and participation.
From Underground to Mainstream
The history of swinging as a modern movement is somewhat murky, with some tracing its roots back to the 1940s among US Air Force pilots. Over the decades, it has evolved from a secretive activity to a more socially accepted lifestyle choice. This shift is evident in the growing number of events and venues catering to those interested in ethical non-monogamy.
In Australia, the scene has expanded significantly, with events like the Hellfire Club and mass parties such as Saints & Sinners gaining popularity in the 1990s. Today, the internet plays a crucial role in connecting like-minded individuals, with dating sites and social media platforms facilitating these interactions.
The Role of Technology and Media
The digital age has been a catalyst for the growth of ethical non-monogamy. Apps like RedHotPie have seen a 50% increase in users between 2020 and 2025, adding a million new Australian accounts in recent years. This surge is partly attributed to the pandemic, which prompted many to reassess their values and explore new relationship dynamics.
Media representation has also played a role in normalizing these practices. The rise of explicit “romantasy” literature and sex-positive TV shows has contributed to a broader acceptance of non-traditional relationships. This cultural shift is reflected in the language used to describe these practices, with terms like “ethical non-monogamy” and “situationships” becoming part of the mainstream lexicon.
Expert Insights and Cultural Impact
Australia’s celebrity sexologist Chantelle Otten notes that the practice of swinging has become less marginal, with more people exploring the subculture. “You only live once, right?” Otten says, highlighting the growing desire for individuals to embrace new experiences.
“People understood the fragility of life a little more, and they started saying, ‘Let’s go for it – let’s have some fun.'” — Chantelle Otten
According to a study by the Kirby Institute, 0.2% of Australians were involved in swinging in 2013, translating to approximately 32,000 individuals. While this figure is a decade old, experts anticipate a rise in participation as new data becomes available.
Challenges and Considerations
Despite its growing popularity, The Lifestyle is not without its challenges. Issues of consent and safety are paramount, with event organizers implementing measures to ensure a respectful and secure environment. Volunteer “consent angels” are often present at events to support attendees and address any concerns.
However, the community is not immune to darker elements. Instances of misconduct and abuse highlight the need for vigilance and accountability within the scene. As Chantelle Otten points out, “You can screen and vet, but can you see through everyone’s motivations? Absolutely not.”
“It’s complicated stuff. You have to understand how to give and receive, offer and decline. But you make the rules.” — Chantelle Otten
Looking Ahead
The future of ethical non-monogamy in Australia appears promising, with increasing interest from diverse demographics. Events like PURR in Melbourne and Our Secret Spot in Sydney cater to a wide range of preferences, offering spaces for exploration and connection.
As the scene continues to grow, it will likely face both opportunities and challenges. The ongoing dialogue around consent, inclusivity, and safety will be crucial in shaping the future of The Lifestyle. For many, these gatherings offer a unique opportunity to explore their desires and connect with others in a supportive and open environment.
Ultimately, the rise of ethical non-monogamy in Australia reflects a broader cultural shift towards acceptance and exploration of diverse relationship dynamics. As more individuals embrace these practices, the conversation around love, sex, and relationships will continue to evolve, challenging traditional norms and expanding the possibilities for personal fulfillment.
