After months of searching through dating apps, you’ve finally found someone you feel a connection with. However, they claim to be working on an offshore oil platform or serving in the military overseas, which conveniently prevents them from meeting in person or even having a video chat. Despite their reluctance to meet, they are not shy about asking for money.
Romance scams are not a new phenomenon. For years, lonely individuals seeking companionship have been targeted by criminals. However, the incidence of such fraud is on the rise, particularly among older adults. According to research by Lloyds Bank, there was a 52% increase in scams targeting people over the age of 55 in the past year. The financial losses associated with these scams are also growing.
Understanding the Scope of Romance Fraud
These scams are not limited to dating sites. Fraudsters also target vulnerable individuals on social media platforms and gaming forums, as noted by Lloyds Bank. Typically, the scammer will concoct a story about a medical emergency, claiming they or a relative have been in a car accident and need funds for travel expenses to visit the victim.
The average loss for romance fraud victims of all ages is £5,219, but older individuals tend to lose more. Lloyds’ data indicates that those aged 75 to 84 lost an average of £8,068 each.
The scammers are often highly convincing and manipulative. In one instance, a customer was prevented from transferring £10,000 to someone he met online. He was so certain of the recipient’s authenticity that he bet the bank worker who stopped him £20,000 that the person was genuine. The bank refused to process the transaction, citing the likelihood of fraud.
Real-Life Examples of Romance Scams
Consider the case of an 80-year-old woman who met “Freddie” while playing a word game on Facebook. Freddie claimed his son had died while working on an oil platform in Germany, and he had to take over the job. Upon his return, he allegedly faced a tax bill he couldn’t afford. The woman lost £11,000 to this scam.
Meanwhile, Keith, aged 86, met “Stephanie” on a dating site. She only communicated via text and convinced him to cover travel costs so she could retrieve an inheritance in Australia. Keith ended up losing £2,260.
Detective Superintendent Oliver Little of the City of London Police describes these scams as “highly manipulative,” noting that fraudsters often operate with “chilling precision” by using emotional control, false urgency, and elaborate lies to coerce victims.
Recognizing the Signs of Romance Fraud
Criminals frequently post fake profiles on dating sites to lure victims. While they may exchange photos—often fake—they usually have excuses to avoid video calls or in-person meetings. Their stories may contain inconsistencies or change over time, and they are often quick to profess their love.
Lloyds highlights that the vast majority of the UK military (96%) are based in Britain. The likelihood of encountering a female oil rig worker is also low, as women represent just 3.4% of Britain’s offshore oil and gas workforce.
Scammers often request money via bank transfers or ask victims to purchase online gift cards, which are easy to resell. They may use tactics of urgency or guilt to pressure victims into sending money.
Protecting Yourself from Romance Fraud
Detective Superintendent Little advises staying on a dating app’s messaging system, where scammers have less anonymity and can be monitored. He also recommends consulting family and friends before making any financial decisions.
“Criminals will try to isolate you—don’t give them the opportunity. Remember, if you haven’t met them in person, you don’t owe them anything,” he adds.
Be cautious of individuals who contact you on social media and those unwilling to meet in person. Liz Ziegler, the retail fraud and financial crime director at Lloyds, emphasizes the importance of critically evaluating what scammers tell you and assessing its believability.
“Never, in any circumstances, send money to someone you’ve [only] met online. No good relationship starts off in this way,” she advises.
As romance fraud continues to rise, awareness and vigilance are crucial in protecting oneself from these manipulative schemes. By recognizing the signs and understanding the tactics used by scammers, individuals can better safeguard their finances and emotional well-being.
