When Danielle Calvaresi was just 13 years old, a personal tragedy sparked a lifelong passion. Her grandmother’s passing left a lasting impression, as she recalls seeing her grandmother looking “grey and waxy” before the funeral. This image, more than 30 years later, remains vivid in her memory. It was this moment that inspired Calvaresi to pursue a career in embalming, driven by a desire to offer families a positive last view of their loved ones.
Today, Calvaresi is a Funeral Consultant and Vice Chairman of the Australian Institute of Embalming. “I just began a fascination, and I wanted to be able to do the job so people would be able to have a positive last view of their loved one,” she tells nine.com.au. “Because I think that is really, really important, because it will always stay with you if it’s negative.”
The Path to Embalming
Calvaresi’s journey to becoming an embalmer was not straightforward. Initially, she worked as a beauty therapist. However, the birth of her daughter prompted her to reconsider her career path. She decided it was now or never to pursue her interest in embalming. After securing a job at a funeral home, she gained experience in the mortuary when a technician left. This hands-on experience eventually led her to an embalming course, a specialized education available only to those already employed in the funeral industry.
Despite common misconceptions, embalming is far more than “putting makeup on” a body. Calvaresi explains that it is a scientific process involving the removal of blood and its replacement with a fluid that sanitizes and preserves the body. The process is tailored to each individual case, considering factors such as the cause of death and the condition of the body upon arrival.
“There is a big science behind it because it depends on how long they’re going to be in your care for, what they passed away from, the condition they were in when they came into your care,” Calvaresi says. “There are a lot of factors you have to take into consideration when choosing the chemical.”
Dispelling Myths and Misconceptions
Popular culture often portrays embalmers as “creepy people” working in dimly lit basements, a stereotype Calvaresi is keen to dispel. “We’re very normal. I mean, I’m sure there are a few oddballs out there somewhere, but everyone that I know, we’re just normal people,” she asserts.
To succeed in this field, Calvaresi emphasizes the importance of approaching the work technically rather than emotionally. “If you get emotionally caught up, you won’t last in the business, unfortunately,” she says. “You have to be able to sort of put up a wall … to make sure it’s going to be a positive viewing experience.”
The Emotional Toll and Coping Mechanisms
Despite the technical focus, the emotional toll of the job is undeniable. Calvaresi acknowledges that some cases are “quite traumatic,” and she relies on debriefing with colleagues to leave work behind at the end of the day. “Humour is a big thing. Not at the expense of anyone, of course, but you’ll notice a lot of people in the funeral industry are some of the funniest people you will meet,” she says. “We need to be able to lean on each other for that emotional support, so we’re not taking it home, so we can switch off before we leave.”
The role has also influenced Calvaresi’s perspective on life and mortality. While she, like anyone, hopes for a long life, her work in the funeral industry has prompted her to reflect more deeply on her life choices.
A Lasting Impact
Calvaresi’s commitment to her work is rooted in her personal experience of loss. “I’ve been in the position where they haven’t looked peaceful, and it does leave sort of like a mark on you,” she shares. “So, being able to give families that one last chance to hold their hand, to see their face one more time, it just gives me goosebumps even just saying it. That’s what keeps me coming back.”
Her story is a testament to the profound impact embalmers can have on grieving families, providing them with a sense of peace and closure during difficult times.
Produced in partnership with CareerOne.
