First came the headaches, a feeling of pressure in the head. Then, Shane Christie, a former New Zealand rugby player, began experiencing macabre hallucinations of his own death. As time went on, the once sociable athlete started getting into arguments with loved ones, and towards the end, paranoia consumed his trust, leaving him fearful and depressed. By the time Christie took his own life at 39 in August, a decade after his symptoms began, he was almost unrecognizable to those closest to him.
Holly Parkes, Christie’s former partner, cared for him during the last year of his life. She describes a feeling of desperation and isolation as she watched Christie disappear further into the illness he believed was caused by multiple head injuries. “I would get in the car, and I would cry, and I would call people… I would speak to every friend that I had … I called the brain injury trust…I was trying to speak to people in the [US], like, what do we do? How can I help him?” Parkes recalls.
Christie suspected he suffered from chronic traumatic encephalopathy (CTE) – a progressive brain disease associated with repeated head impacts, only diagnosable posthumously. His symptoms were consistent with CTE: fatigue, mood and personality changes, confusion, paranoia, anxiety, headaches, and ultimately, suicide. His case has been referred to the coroner, and Christie has donated his brain to New Zealand’s human brain bank, which is studying athletes’ brains for signs of CTE.
From the Stadium to the Shadows
Before his symptoms took hold, Christie was a passionate rugby player, participating in domestic competitions, Super Rugby, and representing New Zealand in the Māori All Blacks and All Blacks Sevens. To those closest to him, he was a lively, honest, and forgiving man. “He loved his friends, loved his family … was very trusting of people,” Parkes says. “He didn’t make his life more complicated than it needed to be. He just focused on big things.”
However, life became complicated for Christie. During his career, he experienced multiple head impacts, the cumulative effects of which took their toll. In 2016, while co-captaining the Highlanders, he suffered a significant blow during a game against the Kings in South Africa. Christie was flown home and spent two weeks “alone in the dark,” Parkes said. “He cannot even look at the window … because the light is so bad.”
Craig Morice, a Nelson-based lawyer and friend of Christie, first met him in 2017 when he assisted with Christie’s retirement negotiations with New Zealand Rugby (NZR) and the New Zealand Rugby Players Association. Morice recalls the difficulty in securing adequate medical care for Christie, noting it took months of pressure to arrange a specialist neurologist appointment. The conclusion was clear: Christie should retire immediately due to the concussions he had sustained.
The Fight for Recognition and Change
In 2018, Christie retired, citing ongoing effects of his head injuries. He expressed serious concerns about how his case was handled and the governing body’s processes for dealing with players experiencing concussion. NZR agreed to conduct an independent review of Christie’s medical care, but the report was not made public, citing privacy concerns.
“Shane was distraught because these recommendations can only make their game safer,” Morice said. “If you can’t release recommendations, how on earth does the public know what they are? How do you see whether a body is implementing them?”
When Billy Guyton, a rugby player and friend of Christie’s, took his own life after battling CTE in 2023, Christie’s resolve to see change deepened. He started the Billy Guyton Foundation to highlight the risks of repeated head impacts. Christie saw himself in Guyton and became convinced he too was suffering from CTE. However, his friend’s death also accelerated his own decline, leading to more erratic behavior and eventually, suicidal thoughts.
Despite his decline, Christie’s message remained clear: there needs to be better support for players and retirees, and a formal acknowledgment of the link between degenerative brain diseases like CTE and rugby. In 2016, NFL representatives in the US acknowledged this link, followed by the NRL and Football Australia in 2023. Yet, New Zealand Rugby and the players association have not made such acknowledgments.
“They will be on the wrong side of history on this issue, and the point is, we should be doing more for these people now,” Morice said.
Brain Research Could Keep Legacy Alive
At the University of Auckland’s Centre for Brain Research, scientists are examining donated brains, including Christie’s, to better understand CTE. Dr. Helen Murray, a senior research fellow and former national ice hockey player, explains that CTE is complex and difficult to diagnose during life due to symptom overlap with other diseases. However, research is beginning to uncover how a protein called tau overdevelops in the brain after impacts, leading to the disease.
“It looks like these big flame-shaped fibers that’s all over the cells,” Murray says. “Once it’s formed, it’s really hard to get rid of.”
Murray hopes her research will eventually inform ways to minimize the risks of developing CTE, whether through shorter sport seasons, better aftercare, or delaying contact sports for children. Christie’s loved ones hope his final act of donating his brain to research will push his desire for CTE awareness to the forefront.
“I think people weren’t actually listening when he was trying to explain things before,” Parkes says. “But as the years go on, the things that he said in the final years of his life may become even more poignant and even more profound.”
In New Zealand, Lifeline: 0800 543 354. Suicide Crisis Helpline: 0508 828 865 / 0508 TAUTOKO (24/7). This is a service for people who may be thinking about suicide, or those who are concerned about family or friends. Depression Helpline: 0800 111 757 (24/7). In Australia, the crisis support service Lifeline is 13 11 14. In the UK and Ireland, Samaritans can be contacted on freephone 116 123, or email [email protected] or [email protected]. In the US, you can call or text the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988 or chat at 988lifeline.org. Other international helplines can be found at befrienders.org
