In 2015, I embarked on a journey from north Wales in the UK to Sydney, Australia, chasing a long-held dream. However, changes in Australian immigration rules meant that to secure permanent residency with my skills as a barber, I had to choose between Tasmania and the Northern Territory. Fearing the Tasmanian climate would mirror Britain’s, I opted for Darwin in 2018, despite knowing little about the city.
My first connection in Darwin was Ben, whom I met on Grindr. He was welcoming and curious about my journey from Wales. He invited me to a Pride pool party, which he didn’t initially disclose he was hosting as his drag persona, Miss Ellaneous. Witnessing Ben’s vibrant performance and charisma was captivating. Between performances, we spent the day together, and an undeniable energy sparked between us.
A Connection Amidst Uncertainty
Despite our immediate connection, the idea of a romantic relationship seemed improbable. Ben was often traveling for his performances, leaving little room for anything serious. However, the onset of the COVID-19 pandemic grounded us both in Darwin, allowing us to spend more time together. During a weekend getaway to Dundee, as we sat on the veranda playing Scrabble, I realized I was in love. It was a moment of clarity, free from grand gestures, where I felt truly seen and understood.
Life took a turn when I lost my business to a fire in Darwin. In 2022, Ben moved to Sydney to work on WorldPride, and feeling adrift, I followed him. We married in Sydney that same year, opting for intimate celebrations with just two witnesses. Over the next year, we celebrated our union in Darwin, Sydney, and Liverpool in the UK, culminating in a “festival of love” on our anniversary.
Building a Life Together
In February, we relocated to Brunswick Heads in northern New South Wales, seeking a better quality of life and career opportunities. I found a new role as a self-employed barber, while Ben continued his work, often traveling but with the convenience of nearby airports. Our relationship deepened with each passing day.
Ben, a First Nations man with roots in Malak Malak, Kungarakan, Muran Clan (Iwaidja), and Torres Strait Islands (Badu Island), shares his rich cultural heritage with me, while I share my Welsh identity. Our diverse backgrounds enrich our relationship, adding depth and understanding. Ben’s dedication to creating opportunities for Indigenous people is inspiring, and I am proud to support him in his endeavors.
A Love Story Continues
Our journey together feels like winning the lottery. Ben is the most kind, generous, and driven person I’ve known. Supporting him in his drag shows, whether performing as Tina, Bogan Villea, or Miss Ellaneous, fills me with pride. Our love story continues to unfold, with Ben’s upcoming performance of “Tina: A Tropical Love Story” at the Round Theatre in Melbourne as part of the Midsumma Festival on February 6.
Our life together is a testament to the unexpected paths love can take, and how embracing those paths can lead to profound happiness and fulfillment.
