Matildas star Mary Fowler has unveiled the racism and personal challenges she faced during her tenure with French football club Montpellier in her new memoir, In Bloom. Fowler, who joined the club as a 17-year-old in 2020, departed for Manchester City two years later. Her book recounts the discrimination she and her friend Ashleigh Weerden encountered, particularly after their final home game with the club.
The revelations come amid a growing conversation about racism in sports, highlighting the experiences of minority athletes in international leagues. Fowler describes a post-match presentation where departing players were given flowers, yet she and Dutch teammate Weerden were conspicuously excluded. Inside the changing room, teammates questioned the omission, only for another player to mockingly offer them bananas.
“Not receiving flowers was one thing, but as two of only six black girls in the squad, receiving bananas wasn’t something I could laugh off and forget about,” Fowler wrote.
Racism and the Struggle for Acceptance
Fowler’s account sheds light on the subtle yet pervasive racism that can exist within sports teams. She reflects on her attempts to rationalize the incident, considering it might have been an innocent mistake. However, the accumulation of similar experiences made it difficult to dismiss as such.
Her memoir also reveals her internal conflict and regret for not confronting the issue at the time. “I wish we’d done something after it happened — to stand up for ourselves even a little — but instead we just sat there holding those bananas,” she admitted.
Challenges Beyond Racism
Beyond racial issues, Fowler’s time at Montpellier was marred by other challenges, including physical and mental health struggles. She recounts a particular incident where, after returning from an international break, she was pressured to play despite experiencing jet lag and chest pains.
“The coach spoke in French, expressing again that he wanted me to play in the game that day,” she wrote. “In English, I told him again that I wasn’t faking the chest pains I’d experienced and wasn’t going to play until I got it checked out.”
This incident taught Fowler the importance of self-advocacy, as she ultimately refused to play, realizing her voice and health mattered.
Mental Health Struggles and Resilience
Fowler’s memoir delves deep into her mental health journey, revealing a period when she contemplated quitting football to live a normal teenage life. Her struggle with depression was a significant theme, as she candidly shared the relief she felt when a psychologist advised her to skip a Matildas camp.
“Depression doesn’t discriminate,” she wrote. “It can get you when you least expect it and take you to scary places.”
Fowler’s honesty about her ongoing battle with self-harm and her coping mechanisms underscores the broader issue of mental health in sports. She emphasizes the importance of kindness and supportive conversations to uplift those struggling.
Implications and Broader Context
Fowler’s revelations come at a time when sports organizations worldwide are under scrutiny for their handling of racism and mental health. Her experiences at Montpellier echo those of other athletes who have faced similar challenges, highlighting the need for systemic change.
As the conversation around racism and mental health in sports continues to evolve, Fowler’s memoir serves as a powerful reminder of the personal battles athletes face beyond the field. Her story calls for greater awareness and action to create inclusive and supportive environments for all players.
ABC Sport has reached out to Montpellier for comment, though the club has yet to respond. Meanwhile, Fowler’s courage in sharing her story is likely to inspire others to speak out and advocate for change.
