When Dong Yan stepped onto the set of China’s popular dating show If You Are the One in 2012, he made a bold declaration to a national audience: he was there for one person only. That person was Wu Zhengzhen, known to viewers as “the girl who cries the most.” Despite the lack of initial chemistry, Yan’s persistence paid off, and the couple, now living in Melbourne with their two children, is one of many unions forged through the show.
Now in its 16th year, If You Are the One faces new challenges, including declining traditional television audiences and the rise of digital dating platforms. Despite these hurdles, the show remains a cultural phenomenon, continuing to attract viewers both in China and internationally. This month, the show’s crew visited Australia to recruit contestants for a new season, marking the fourth time casting has occurred in the country.
The Show’s Unique Format and Global Reach
If You Are the One has captivated audiences with its distinctive format, where a single bachelor is introduced to 24 bachelorettes on live television. As the show progresses, the women decide whether to keep their lights on or turn them off, ultimately leaving the bachelor to choose a date from those still interested. The show has aired in Australia on SBS with English subtitles for over a decade, underscoring its international appeal.
The recent auditions in Melbourne and Sydney saw over 300 registrants, including Chinese Australians, international students, and Australians fluent in Chinese. Producers plan to select about 30 women and up to 10 men to participate in filming in Nanjing next month. Among the hopefuls is Carol, a 23-year-old University of Melbourne student who watched the show with her parents as a child and now sees it as an opportunity to expand her network.
Adapting to a Changing Media Landscape
While If You Are the One was once the top-rated variety TV show in China, its ratings have declined, placing it fifth for the first half of 2025. Despite this, the show has a cumulative domestic audience of 160 million people, according to China’s National Radio and Television Administration. The program has adapted by expanding to online and social media platforms, ensuring its continued relevance in a rapidly evolving media environment.
Host Meng Fei, who has been with the show since its debut in 2010, acknowledged the changing landscape but remains optimistic. “There will be some diversion of audiences because of the internet,” he said. “Young people still need emotional connection. That absolute demand is enough to sustain our program.”
Reflecting Social Changes in China
The broader environment around dating and marriage in China is shifting. Fewer people are getting married, with 6.1 million marriages registered in 2024, down 20 percent from 2023. Economic uncertainty and the high cost of childcare and education are contributing factors. Despite these challenges, the show continues to promote marriage, aligning with Beijing’s social priorities.
However, the program’s content has not always pleased authorities. In 2010, it was briefly suspended during a crackdown on “vulgar and ugly trends” in dating programs. Some contestants have been accused of participating for commercial motives, and the show’s candid exchanges often contrast with China’s conservative societal norms.
“All of this doesn’t match the socialist spirit promoted by the [Chinese] government, and it disrupts the harmony the government aims to promote,” explained Pan Wang, an associate professor of Chinese and Asian studies at the University of New South Wales.
Dr. Wang, who has authored books on China’s dating culture, noted that the tension between regulators and the show’s content reflects broader social changes. “The mismatch between the grassroots and the state is what makes the show compelling for viewers,” she said.
The Future of ‘If You Are the One’
Despite the challenges, If You Are the One remains a valuable cultural artifact. It provides entertainment while also reflecting the evolving attitudes towards dating and marriage in China. Back in Melbourne, Zhengzhen expressed hope that her sons might one day participate in the show, adding a personal touch to the ongoing narrative of love and connection.
“They were shocked, asking, ‘Mum, is that really you?’ They think it’s amazing that their parents met this way,” Zhengzhen said, recalling how her family initially thought her appearance on the show was a joke. “But I think life is sometimes like a gift box — if you never open it, you’ll never know what wonderful surprises might be inside.”
